We have settled back in from our trip. Kirk seems to be relaxing more. It's very difficult for him to get out of a routine, it causes him to be agitated and nervous. We are finding a rhythm.
Tonight I was looking at all the pictures from our trip, I had forgotten about a video I took of Kirk and the kids. I'll post it to Fb. Look at his smile and hear his laugh! On this trip we sang at the tops of our lungs, we laughed until our guts hurt, we played in knee deep snow, we played some lethal Xbox connect, we hugged, and we cried. We lived and had a blast!
I walked away from this trip with a refreshed attitude. I had taken Kirk off of artificial sweeteners, cut him back on sugars and soft drinks , etc. Basically taken all the enjoyable stuff away. I received an email from his doctor while we were on the road....... PET scan results were in. Alzheimer's has won the Dx. Although I am not convinced that's it, that is the name it shall bear for now. Anyway back to my refreshed attitude:) I had to stop and think, am I seriously worried about his caffeine, sugar and artificial sweetener intake? Needless to say Kirk Russell gets all the Coke, caffeine, chocolate he wants. I want him to love life and savor every bit! We are not going to live in a bubble or let it dictate our every step. I will watch and wait for every glimpse of Kirk I get. I will endure the Alzheimer's with him and fight for him. We probably won't win, but that's OK. But Kirk is going to know that I stood up to this disease and we endured it together! For every step backwards this disease causes us to take, I am kicking and screaming to get it back. If tonight I sound ticked off, it's just determination. I am determined to rely on God for strength. I am determined to find laughter among my tears.
I want to dedicate this blog to Haley and her mom Hollie and all the friends and families they left behind........don't let their lives be forgotten.....choose to live in every moment, love big those who are around you and always forgive everything. Honor them through your lives, through the choices you make. Praying God's peace over each of you.
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