Giving myself permission to feel emotions, live life and be happy is tough. As I travel the road of a widow I am learning to own my journey as MY journey. To others it may look odd or it may seem I choose the most difficult road, but it's my journey. It is not meant for others to judge or even understand.
Today I wake up thinking about Kirk. I think about the God winks I receive on a daily basis. Kirk is always letting me know he is walking with me, especially when I am doubting myself or can't seem to take another step. I hear him say....."suck it up, babe I know you can do this" He use to tell me all the time "When I'm not around you can do anything you set your mind to, (change the oil in the car, move the trampoline to mow, move heavy boxes) then when I get home you act like you're helpless" lol!!!! He is right I can do it, but I loved how he took care of me. He will always be looking out for me. This I know!
My sister told me not too long ago that my girls were going to keep me pushing forward. She was so right! I wake up these days because of them! Jess and Drew have lives of their own...... Bailey begins his own life journey this fall. God brought these two girls to Kirk and I for so many reasons. Healing power in their life and mine.
Today I feel peace like no other, it's so freeing to let go of the anger. Thank you sweetheart for walking me through this journey and giving me strength to give myself permission to live again. I will forever listen to the music in my soul that YOU put there.