I read a scripture this morning..... John 8:12. I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.
It was explained to me that God leads us high on the mountain, so we can separate ourselves from this world and all its problems. The higher we climb it feels like there's no oxygen, we can't breath. All along God is there with His hand supporting every step, ready with the oxygen tank. The last 6 months I've been making my way up that mountain. Unaware that God was clearing my head in preparation, changing my heart, renewing my spirit, healing hurts and preparing the future. I thought ok...... I'm trying to deal with this anger and sadness all the while trying to raise healthy girls, send my son off to college and assure him mom is going to be fine. Still climbing that mountain! While I am on that mountain finding my way, God is still right behind me every step of the way. God will keep me here for awhile..... There is so much he wants me to focus in on that I won't see if He takes me back off the mountain. He knows I'm scared of heights too! I get it! I see what he is doing! He's healing my heart, he's showing me grace, he's showing me how to love and be loved again. He's teaching me forgiveness of others and of myself.
I understand why I am here, I understand why I must push through......... This journey has taught me so much about choosing life! Waking up and choosing to live out every moment! Thanking you God for this mountain I must climb! My vision is clearing and my mind and heart are healing. I'm breathing deeper without help from the oxygen tank ;)
I'm finding my laugh again.......